AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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