Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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