I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
