margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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