Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
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Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
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WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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