I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
