Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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