Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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