the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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