i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
