I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
