I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
