I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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