She said her name was "party"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
