chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
