The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
