HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
