Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
