You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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