I didn't shave. On purpose
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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