The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
