I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
