Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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