ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize