I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
