I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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