i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
