you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
