Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
