i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
