I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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