I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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