oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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