So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
