Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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