I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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