At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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