Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
