another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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