the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
