I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I will be naked everywhere
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
