i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
