week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
3 2 1 whiskey
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
