Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
