What did we do last night that was yellow?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
