Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
