Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
