shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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