Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
