I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
