my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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