$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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