piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
