Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
