I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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