i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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