There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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