at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize